Just (try to) Keep Swimming

When I was 11 or 12 years old, I developed asthma. My symptoms were primarily brought on by exercise so all through junior high and high school I used an inhaler when I was active in PE, dance team, etc. If you’ve ever experienced an asthma attack you understand that panicky feeling of being unable to fully inflate your lungs. No matter how hard you try to pull in air, you just cannot get a good breath. A raspy, wheezing sound escapes from your throat which leads to coughing and more gasping. It’s a terribly claustrophobic feeling and makes physical activity nearly impossible.

One of the activities that particularly brought on my asthma was swimming. Having to control my breathing while being physically active, topped with a dash of fear of the water was the perfect recipe for severe asthma symptoms. As a freshman in college I took a Learn to Swim class. I thought it was high time I get this swimming thing figured out! Well, good thing it was a pass or fail class. I did pass, but between the fear and the breathing it was a struggle every day to keep myself together in the water.

Since my early twenties, I’ve not experienced any issues with asthma. I’m not sure if that is because I moved to a drier climate or if I just grew out of the condition. Thankfully, I’m able to run, bike, ski – participate in pretty much any physical activity without  any asthma symptoms. Last year with Dan’s help I even overcame some degree of my fear of the water by learning to SCUBA dive. I never thought I’d be able to complete the tasks that are required to become a diver, but in October I completed my open water course and am now a certified diver!

So now we are back to swimming and breathing is still the challenge I experience. I can’t even begin to think about form or technique when I’m gasping for every breath of air. I’ve been feeling like I’m progressing each time I swim and that I will get there eventually. However last night was a different story. Part way through my swim I started to get that old familiar feeling. It was more than just shortness of breath.  Hanging onto the edge of the pool between lengths, I felt like I could not get enough air into my lungs and even felt a little of that old wheeze coming back.

As usual, I was the last one to complete our training for the evening – 950 meters. But this time everyone was LONG gone by the time I finished. I was so frustrated and began to feel like maybe I really can’t do this! Maybe there’s something about me that makes swimming just plain impossible.

I’m not sure where to go with this or what methods I need to employ in order to overcome the swimming monster. I knew swimming would be a challenge, but I didn’t expect this much of a struggle. But it is the struggle that makes this all worth doing and makes our endeavor worth supporting.

I guess I will just keep swimming. And gasping. And sputtering.  


-- JAM